quotes

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

And I hope that someday we could talk and forget that time ever drew distance between us. We could make a bridge out of words, as fragile as it might be, the awkward pauses and incomprehensible mumbling twisting and twining into some stronger foothold. Someday, I might reach you and redeem myself. But I wouldn’t count on it anytime soon.

That’s what real love amounts to—letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending—performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act—and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you’re trying to steal their most precious possession.

Losing a whole year. I remember you and me used to spend the whole goddamned day in bed.

I am so afraid of being nothing more than a memory, then half a memory; and eventually, nothing at all. Not even a single thought.

And I thought I could do this. And I thought that I could grow emotionless. I thought I could learn to be like you, heartless. But, I was wrong. I’ve grown attached with every smile and every touch. Every word that comes from your lips is drawn in like a mental note in my head.

And I hate this pen I’m holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn’t you. I even hate this letter because it’s not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say.

Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you.

I do not hate you, and have never hated you. I was angry at you and depressed by you and confused about you. But hate… hate never came into it.

I hope there’s still a piece of me, upon your bedroom floor. You had me several years ago, when I was still quite naive. Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair and that you would never leave. But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me. And I hate the sun, and I hate the rain and I hate the world without you and I hate myself for not being able to let go when I know I need to.

There were walks in the park, there were kisses in the dark, and proverbial sparks, that always precede failure. And your heart did fly, and your soul was telling lies, and you never asked why, this couldn’t all last, forever.

I wanted to tell her not to entertain despair like this. Despair wasn’t a guest, you didn’t play its favorite music, find it a comfortable chair. Despair was the enemy. It frightened me to bare needs so openly. If a person needed something badly, it was my experience that it would surely be taken away. I didn’t need a mirror to know that.

I wanted to freeze this moment forever, the chimes, the slight splash of the water, the chink of the dogs’ leashes, laughter from the pool, the skritch of my mother’s dip-pen, the smell of the trees, the stillness. I wished I could shut it in a locket to wear around my neck. I wished a sleep would find us, at this absolute second, like sleep over the castle of sleeping beauty.

We used to believe in a lot of things, like forevers, and our dreams. We used to speak of our futures. Then we both went our seperate ways, we don’t talk about those things anymore. In fact, we don’t talk at all.

Saying goodbyes are always hard. You hug a little tighter, smell a little deeper, attempt to commit the feel of the person to your memory. You want time to stop, but you can’t and you know you can’t. You know that you have to go on. So you cling on for a moment, and you murmur “I guess I’ll see you when I see you”.